"Behind the Veil: My Untold Story Unfolded”
Recently, I have noticed a passion for writing within myself. Expressing my thoughts and ideas through writing has proven to be beneficial in many ways. Whenever I write about them, I feel truly inspired and happy. This is the reason I decided to include a blog page on my website, especially during the challenging times I have been facing recently.
A study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that individuals who engaged in expressive writing about positive experiences reported increased levels of happiness and life satisfaction. This highlights the versatile nature of writing as a tool for promoting mental well-being, not limited to processing negative emotions but also improving positive aspects of life. While these examples may not directly address blogging, the principles of expressive writing can be applied to the act of sharing personal experiences through a blog. Writing in a public forum like a blog allows for potential social support, connection with others, and the opportunity to inspire or resonate with readers, further contributing to the positive impact on mental health.
I will be sharing my experiences, ideas, feelings, etc. And I can assure you that I will not be sharing my past traumas, which were the reason for my panic attacks. And the reason for panic attacks are not relationships, as I have never been in a relationship in my entire life. However, some rejections really triggered those traumas. After all, this blog will not just be about my pathetic life. After experiencing panic attacks and anxiety, I read some books and participated in some surveys. Through that, I discovered a serious issue within myself: I remember the mistakes I have made and the failures I have faced, but I often forget about the successes I have achieved. So, I will strive to achieve more successes and share them with you through this platform.
Professionally, I am currently working as an accounts analyst and am aspiring to become a data analyst. I will be documenting my journey from being an accountant to becoming an analyst through my blogs. I plan to share all the experiences and knowledge I have gained along the way. Additionally, this blog will serve as a complete package of everything occurring and that has transpired in my life.
THE PAST
Now I will give you my life introduction. No one in my life fully knows me. I lead an active and vibrant life that I refer to as "Niz" and a calm, introverted life as "Nizam." When I initially interact with someone, for the first month or two, I present myself as Nizam. Sooner or later, after several months, I will reveal my true self to those individuals. This cautious approach is rooted in my fear of trusting people immediately, influenced by past experiences with friends from school who betrayed me, labelling me as selfish. They were the first to teach me not to blindly trust anyone. I prefer to keep only a few people in my life. FYI, if self-care is considered selfish, then yes, I am selfish.
In my 24 years of life, I've lived through four different ways of living. When I was between 0 and 16 years old, I was a scared child. I used to cry a lot, loved being the teacher's favorite, and did really well in my studies during that time. Between the ages of 16 and 18, I went through some changes in my life. I made new friends and added new things to the way I lived. During this time, I shifted from being more shy and keeping to myself to becoming less introverted and more open to socializing with others. I have only a few people from those 18 years who are still friends with me now.
There would be many sad stories if I started to tell you about my past, but it's not ideal to include everything in my first blog.
THE PRESENT
After turning 18 and starting college, I completely transformed my life. Even though the college wasn't that great, I enjoyed the overall experience, formed meaningful connections, and discovered the version of myself I had always desired. It was during this time that "Niz" emerged. To be honest, I made a best friend only after 19 years of living. I've heard that people with friends since childhood are lucky, so I guess I'm not lucky in that regard. During this period, I started doing things I had been afraid to do in order to overcome my fears. Despite the happiness I experienced during this time, I also acquired another companion, a lingering presence reminding me of past traumas. This person, who induced panic attacks, represents the dark side that everyone has. Some people manage to control it, while others struggle. I fall into the category of those who control it to the best of their ability. Even though I have changed, that person still resurfaces whenever they please.
And I am not a religious person, but I can’t say I am an atheist. It’s complicated. I have different kinds of friends who can keep me company in various situations: elder friends who will offer me their experiences and stories; my best gang, who will do anything; and an entrepreneurial gang called Yellowsgroup.
Now, let's talk about my hobbies and pastime activities. I am a big fan of football, particularly the Tottenham Hotspur Football Club. Yes, you are right; the club hasn't won any silverware in the last 15 years. I am a member of the Kerala Spurs and the UAE Spurs. I also have a keen interest in American football, specifically the NFL, and my favorite team is the Buffalo Bills, which hasn't secured a Super Bowl trophy in its entire 64-year history. Additionally, I enjoy driving, so Formula 1. Surprisingly, I'm not a Ferrari fan; instead, I'm a big supporter of McLaren. Although I'm relatively new to the F1 world and still learning its history, my admiration for McLaren runs deep. As for hobbies, I don't have many. I like to read, but I wouldn't consider myself an active reader. When I decide to read, I read, and that's about it. Series and movies are more like a last resort for me nowadays, so I wouldn't classify them as hobbies either. And as for bad hobbies, I don’t have any, but I have tried most of them once.
THE FUTURE
In the last week, I have decided to upgrade the "Niz" to a newer version—a blend inspired by figures such as Harvey Specter from the TV show "Suits," Ben Francis, Iman Gadzhi, Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, and others. While I may not become exactly like them, I aim to adopt and integrate the essential lifestyle skills they possess into my own life.
As the founder of Yellowsgroup, I am committed to evolving myself and the people around me. I am going to start implementing some business ideas I have been working on for a long time. Soon, we will launch our first business, which is a clothing brand with unique specialties. Additionally, we have been planning a blockchain-based idea. Everyone who knows me knows that I am pretty good with ideas but struggle with implementation. That’s why I founded Yellowsgroup with the best people around.
As I embark on this blogging journey, I invite readers to join me in celebrating life, embracing change, and fostering a community that uplifts and inspires.
And a tip for everyone: Keep your heads up, walk straight, even if you are not confident inside, but show confidence on your face.